Ernie and Bert Your Shouting Again
Family Guy is an blithe television receiver serial created by Seth MacFarlane for Pull a fast one on in 1999. The show was cancelled in 2002, just later on extremely positive response to DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, product of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005.
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Expiry Has a Shadow [edit]
- Stewie: Damn y'all, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.
- [Stewie approaches Lois, who sits at the kitchen table]
- Stewie: Hello, Female parent.
- Lois: Well, how-do-you-do, there, sweetie!
- Stewie: You know, Mother, life is like a box of chocolates: You lot never know what you're going to get. Your life, however, is more like a box of active grenades!
- [Stewie holds a box of hand grenades in front of him]
- Stewie: At present, I offer you ane concluding gamble for deliverance: Return my mind-control device...or be destroyed!
- Lois: Oh, you merely want your toy back. OK, hither y'all get, dear.
- [Lois places the mind-control device on top of the box of grenades]
- Stewie: Aye, well, victory is mine!
- [Stewie runs out of the kitchen carrying the grenades and the mind-command device; a moment later, the grenades detonate]
- Stewie: [screams] Damn yous all!
I Never Met the Dead Human [edit]
- Stewie: [playing with his Sesame Street phone] Put me through to the Pentagon!
- Phone: Do yous know what sound a cow makes?
- Stewie: Don't toy with me, Ernie! I've already dispatched with Mr. Hooper, I've got six armed men stationed exterior Big Bird's nest, and as for Linda... well information technology's rather hard for a deafened woman to hear an assassinator approach, at present, isn't it?
- Phone: Tin you count to three?
- Stewie: Ho-ho, indeed I can! [pulls out a laser gun and shoots the telephone with each number] ONE! Ii! Three! Can I count to 3? For God's sake, I'm already shooting at a fifth-grade level.
- [Lois tries to feed Stewie his broccoli "aeroplane style."]
- Stewie: Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright Brothers!
- Lois: My, aren't nosotros fussy tonight? OK. No broccoli.
- Stewie: Very well and so. I--[Lois shoves the broccoli into his oral fissure. Stewie spits information technology out.] Who the hell do you think y'all are?
- Lois: Dearest, it's non gonna go away just considering you don't like it.
- Stewie: Well and so, my goal becomes articulate: The broccoli must dice.
Chitty Chitty Death Bang [edit]
- [in Lois' womb]
- Stewie: [in his diary] Solar day 171. I've sprouted another finger. Counting the i from yesterday, [looks at his penis], I'm upwardly to eleven.
- Peter: [afterward losing his Cheesy Charlie'south reservation] Chris, this is a big day for you. Today yous become the human being of the business firm, because when we get dwelling house, your mother is going to kill me.
Mind Over Murder [edit]
- [Lois is daydreaming while washing the dishes, Stewie throws his bottle at her.]
- Stewie: Damn yous, woman, awake from your damnable reverie!
- Lois: [sighs] Honey, I'm doing the dishes.
- Stewie: [sarcastically] Oh, well, a thousand pardons for disrupting your flatware sanitation ritual, but, you lot run across, I'g in searing pain! [points to his mouth]
- Lois: Oh, you're just teething, Stewie, it's a normal part of a baby'south life.
- Stewie: Very well then. I lodge you to kill me at once!
- Lois: Oh dear, I know yous're pain, only Mommy has to clean up the house, all right?
- Stewie: No, it's not all right! For the dearest of God, milkshake me, milkshake me like a British Nanny!
- Peter: I can't even spotter Idiot box anymore. All the shows are starting to run together.
- Narrator of Homicide: Life on Sesame Street : This bear witness contains adult content and is brought to you by the alphabetic character H. [wailing sirens; inside an apartment, a phone rings, and Bert groans every bit he tries to option upward the telephone; he finally picks up]
- Bert: How-do-you-do? [sighs heavily] Son of a bitch. I'm on my way. [he gets out of bed naked; to Ernie] Some poor bounder got his head diddled off downwards at a identify called Hooper'due south. [he puts on his pants, drinks out of a beer bottle, and coughs]
- Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much, Bert.
- Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the goddamn BED!
- Ernie: Bert, yous're shouting again, Bert!
- [Bert groans in disgust while comedic instrumental music plays in the groundwork]
A Hero Sits Next Door [edit]
- Brian: Gosh, I'd similar to assistance you, Peter, but uh, I've gotta go out in the hall and chew on the back of my ass for about five minutes.
- One thousand thousand: And then, practise you like music?
- Kevin: Oh, yeah. I played guitar in a ring before we moved, but it interfered with my studies. What practise yous heed to?
- Meg: Uh, you lot start.
- Kevin: I'g into Garbage, Fish, Blur. My parents don't like me listenin' to that stuff, but I do, anyhow, BECAUSE I AM Not A ROBOT! [calmly] I as well like Radiohead.
The Son Also Draws [edit]
- [Peter and Chris are ostensibly trying to earn a merit badge for "insect study."]
- Peter: Wait, Chris. It'southward a whole family of wasps.
- [The scene cuts to a wealthy family eating dinner]
- WASP Father: My, Margaret, what a subpar ham.
- WASP Female parent: Perhaps I can't bake a ham, but what I can cook upwards is a little grace and civility at the table.
- WASP Father: [later on a slight, shocked break] Patty, did you know that your mother is a whore?
- [last line]
- Peter: Canada sucks!
Brian: Portrait of a Dog [edit]
- [Peter has a flashback of when he was on Jeopardy!]
- Trebek: [reads the clue] For $800, this chemical dye is found in over 95% of all corrective products.
- Peter: [rings in] Diarrhea. [the oversupply laughs] What? Oh. Oh. Oh. Sorry. Sad. What is diarrhea?
- [after seeing the news about the heat wave]
- Chris: [about Diane] I think I saw 1 of her nipples!
- Lois: Chris, that's a terrible word! [sarcastically] "Nipple". I'll chalk that upward to the heat, mister.
External links [edit]
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